Saturday Afternoon's Calm before the Evening Storm

Ah yes. Finally made it through another long, tedious week. Good news is, I received three paychecks yesterday-The big one from the Chicago agency, a medium sized one from the ad agency here in town, and a teeny tiny one from the gym for last week's efforts.

So I bought a new hard drive and some running shoes this morning with some of the cash. Actually just got back from running around Washington park, too. I needed more than new shoes apparently. I think it's safe to say that I am OFFICIALLY trying to quit the smoking habit. Again. But yeah, I had my last one a few days ago, and after that, I've been hitting up as much aerobic exercise as I can to remind my body why I need to quit. It's working. My body hates cigarettes more than ever because the 4-mile runs are nothing but painful.

I stayed in last night, watched Lemony Snicket, realized it was pretty bad, and crashed early. TONIGHT...um, who wants to drive me home tonight? I think I might hit up the night scene pretty hard this time. All I need are a few friends and a loose plan on where to go. Hell, shouldn't be hard...that's essentially the plan for EVERY weekend here in town.

Oh, and Shoo-I'll do the profession thing later, I promise.

This week is sucking so far

Oh man...where to begin?

I have been getting great compliments at the gym from all the people I've been training-actually, they're telling my manager that I'm top notch, which is pretty encouraging since I was on the fence as far as paying the 4 or 5 hundred bucks it might cost for the training materials and test for my certification as a personal trainer. Not to mention, it's pretty easy to motivate people when they're halfway there themselves...I mean, there's a reason they're in there shelling out cash for the one on one training. They want to get their body back in shape, and they need someone that knows the motions. Oh, I doubt I would have gotten the job had I applied last summer (when I was 30lbs heavier). But the pay bites. The hours bite. The experience is what I need and am getting.

I'm still waiting on about, oh lets see...$3000 in old bills to clients. Taxes were paid a few weeks ago and I still haven't been paid for jobs that were wrapped up nearly half a year ago. Someone mentioned bringing a lawyer into the mix, but I would prefer to maintain some of these clients for future work...at least until I add more clients to my roster.

BUT...a 15" powerbook laptop would be pretty nice right about now.

So why is the week sucking? The weather is lousy, the sun has crept back behind the cover of the clouds, and my tan is fading into oblivion.

I'll keep ya posted on the design job when as it develops.

The Interview: A Recap

Well, as if I would have to take a moment to ponder which job I would rather have...personal training, or graphic design for a reputable, respected agency in the 'patch that will pay me nearly three times better than the gym will.

Hold on, gimme a moment...still pondering here..

But seriously, I walked out of their office yesterday feeling pretty good (knocking on wood whenever I can) about the meeting with the owners of the agency. Not only would I be given a LOT of creative license working for them, but they spoke to me at length about how they treat their employees...and it means a lot to hear them talk about incentives, employee retention, and all that jazz. Of course, if you were familiar with the monster she-beast bitch of a boss I had in Chicago, you'd be a little wary of it being lip service too...but from the experience I have had with these women in the past few months freelancing with them- all signs are pointing towards them being heartfelt. (/run-on sentence)

SO...

My legs are bruised all over from the past few days of working in the gym setting. I'm a natural clutz, as is, so I bump into the equipment all the time without even thinking about it. When I was a little kid I was so bruised and cut up all the time...it's something of a miracle that DCFS never paid my parents a visit. I was goofin off last night before my shift was over, decided to do a few pull ups on the squat rack, and neglected to remove the bar before I did the first one. VOILA! Bloody shins. Thankfully the other trainer was off elsewhere, otherwise I think he might have laughed his ass off watching me rub my shins for the next five minutes.

SooOOo...the interview? Good. I only need to put together some print ads and logos (concepts and sketches to show the creative processes I use) to send the owners, and then I will probably provide a salary range that will be fair for this town.

Oh, and the best part of all? I'll finally be able to afford my own pad again. My. Own. Place. Oh God. YES!

Randomness

Chimp in Dress: "Hey Joe-You take out the photographer, and I'll rip the face offa the muthafugga that dressed us up like this, ok?"

Chimp in Suit: "No mercy, Frank."


(Just reminded me of that old movie with Matthew Broderick...Project X? The one where everyone went expecting to see more "Ferris Bueller", and got gypped into watching some messed up animal cruelty flick. SIGH...and on THAT note...)

I made a woman scream four times this morning...

...during my first solo training session. It was great. Sadistic, but great. She later went to my manager and told her I did a good job, and she was happy with the session. I'm tellin you-This personal training thing is a breeze. As long as you know a multitude of exercises, provide the client with enough feedback and support, and don't cave to their begging for mercy...it's easier to do than I had thought initially.

My back is itching like mad. Damn the sunburn from Saturday. I think the aloe vera only made matters worse last night when I applied it after my shower. I finally understand the phrase "crawling out of my skin". I was DYING.

I went in to the gym at 5am this morning, worked until 8:30am, and I go back from 5-9pm this evening. Hopefully I can get a few more members under my belt and get to a point where I am pretty comfortable helping these people with their workouts. I don't worry about being too over the top-if you saw how the owner goes about HIS training sessions...you'd understand. I promise you that I will NEVER lean my head on your thigh when you are on the hip sled, and coax a few more reps out of you. If I do, you have permission to let one rip.

coffcoff

ANYHOO.

My Cannondale has a flat tire, so I have to take that into the shop and get the tube replaced tomorrow. I went in yesterday and the dude that has helped me in the past came up and told me that they had a trade-in in the back of the shop. It's an older model Trek road bike, and it's only $200. I want. My mountain bike has been great and all, but I never take it on the trails. For what I do, and where I live (I mean, come ON...downhill?? In the midwest? pshaw), I would tear up the roads with this thing. I still have a little winter belly thing going on, and I need to hit the pavement again. Gorgeous outside too...

There's a new Pope. President Bush was in Springfield today for 12.62 minutes. Ten years ago today terrorists attacked Oklahoma City. There's your news flash. Oh, and the cookie monster will now be teaching preschoolers the importance of moderation in dietary habits. SUCK.

The Jobby Job Hunt Continues...

Wow. I start a new job this afternoon at a smallish personal training facility in town...I interviewed with the owner on Sunday morning, and then a few hours later received a call back where he asked me to come in this morning and fill out my W2 form. Whoot.

SOOO...I suppose I get to see how much I enjoy this area. Who knows, right? I'm fairly upbeat, and can be downright sickeningly energetic when you catch me in the right mood. I suppose I get to try to channel this into a new afternoon schedule where I will be assisting mainly older, overweight women into achieving their fitness goals. I doubt I will be smoking anywhere near the premises, too ;)

I just read an email when I got back this morning from the ad agency here in town that I've been freelancing for in the past few months. They're looking to hire on a new full time graphic designer, and they'd like to check my book/portfolio again. Man...When it rains, it pours, right?

Astounding, considering I was a day away from going to work for the family in one of the downtown parking lots. OMGWTFLOL. right.

Can you imagine me...ME...as the next tollbooth Willy? Ferreal yo. I'd last about half a day before I got fired for heckling the dumbasses that scrape the pennies out of their car to pay their tickets.

I'll keep ya posted. Wish me luck-I want the design position badly.

Oh, and I'm sunburnt to all hell too. Yard work was a bitch on Saturday. I treated the neighbors to a little half nekkidness. I think Old Mrs. Kraznik must have driven by the house about five times. Wotta perv...ha!

TAX DAY

My family, as they see me now...

"Dear God, make me a bird, so I can fly...far far away...pray with me Forrest..."

I just sent off my taxes...only had to cough up $1100 this year to Uncle Sam and his club-wielding cronies. SIGH.

I suppose it's getting to the point where I should break down and cry-I mean, who else do you know that has two bachelors and still can't find a decent paying job? Damn it...I wish I was kidding, but I'm about a week away from getting a day job working as a parking lot attendant. Whoo fuckin HOO. Can someone please let me borrow their gun? One round too, if you can spare it.

I've become "That guy". I made fun of that guy in college. I never dreamt I would see such a low point in my life. I suppose there's not much else to do than get better from this point on...

Teddy moved earlier this week to Chicago. I no longer have a drinking buddy/neighbor, which sucks. Melissa, that's not a knock...we've just never hung out in the grove.

Shoo called earlier this week and had an extra ticket for the Cards/Reds game for noon that day, so I asked my boss (HA) and got the afternoon off. Good time, although the weather was chilly and the hot girls in bikini tops were non-existent. The high school tramps sitting directly behind us were a source of amusement, however. Eavesdropping proved to be one of the highpoints of the game, if you can imagine. I suppose that the redbirds are off to a slow start this season. Go figure.

Um...yeah. I'm still waiting on a few checks from a few clients, and if they don't come through soon, my checks for my taxes are gonna make a great impression of Kyle....and bounce.

~ducks incoming shoe~

SO....

yeah.

YES, I have been slacking

I haven't posted a new entry in a week or so. Rather than bore you with the typical recap, allow me to offer up some items that I've been pondering steadfastly for a while now...

1) Do women have manuals that we can read and use in order to understand theem better? Guys don't...we're pretty simple like that. I just...damn. I've never been able to figure women out. I suppose that's their secret to keeping us in check so well.

2) What's wrong with using monkeys in a comic strip? WHY would an editor call it "disconcerting"? Do ya think she knows the true meanning of the word? Also...when you call someone to dash their dreams over the phone, please take the time to drink some coffee beforehand, because when you yawn every five minutes...well...THAT'S disconcerting.

3) Why am I still searching for a job in design? What does it take to become a "suit"? I don't give a damn about selling out or whatever you want to call it-I'm sick of living the poor life. I'd much rather pursue a career where I can afford a new car instead of worrying about whether or not I have enouh in my account to cover the next round of bills.

4) When did all of my friends start having more sex than me? The monestary called me today, they want their lifestyle back. Sheesh.

5) Is it terrible to wear a Livestrong bracelet when you smoke?

6) "The Man who Knew Too Little" was a much funnier movie in memory than it actually was when I watched it again the other night.

7) Hanging out with a friend that's moving away is bittersweet, because although they're leaving, they give you all kinds of stuff that they don't feel like moving.

8) I need...NEED...my own place again.

BIG Monday...hooHAH

I stayed up a little later than usual watching Finding Neverland last night, but this morning I was promptly chewed out/torn a new one by my mother when she walked in at 8:30am and saw I was still laying in bed watching ESPN. Great. Just some more motivation to get my own place while I am subsiding here in the 'patch.

Although I had nothing on my agenda until 3pm today, I got up, cleaneed up, and ran downstairs to check my email (A huge brown spider dropped on my arm while I was typing, and when I saw it wasn't a plastic gag insect, I freaked, flicked it, and if you've ever seen Ferris Bueller's Day off when Ferris' sister high kicks Rooney's face in her kitchen, then high tails it outta there...then you can imagine what I did as soon as I flicked that beast off my arm).

I decided to go out and visit my t-shirt design client, and he was busy printing up Illini final four t-shirts today (GO ILLINI!)...I have a deal with him to start getting small jobs during the week with him, and the bigger custom t's that I'd be designing for him will still be at the regular piece rate we had arranged from last summer. I just need to get a contract drafted and signed off on. Might not be a bad arrangement. I also snagged one of the orange tees before I bolted outta there.

Met my old man for lunch, gave him the shirt and then went to look at an office that I might move into over on 7th and adams...free rent, and it will allow me to geet the hell outta the basement. I.E., no more huge wolf spiders dropping down to scare the bloody fock outta me.

I then went out to Washington park, read a few chapters of that stupid software tutorial book, and soaked up some sun. Ahhhhh

Then I had my meeting with the ad agency here in town, received big kudos for my work on this website design, and was given some more work to keep myself occupied for the next few days. All illustrative too. That, my friends, is simply money in my pocket. Dig that.

They also told me that if I was interested, they might hire me on as a full time designer. Not too shabby...this place is the top agency in town from what I gather, and they're all extremely nice. I wouldn't mind the benefits too...

So yeah...just got back from a long, windy bike ride in the park again, and I think I'll be playing basketball at the gym later this evening.

Word to yo baby brutha.