Monday, March 27, 2006

Do you know how I know you're gay?

...because you are holding each other, ever so gently.

OK, rather than recap another week in a feeble attempt to explain why I haven't been keeping current with this blog, allow me to vent a few frustrations that have been hanging around my mind-

1) Work has been nonstop chaotic. I have a project manager that is getting hit up on all sides trying to fill some of the responsibilities left behind by the departure of the previous designer. Because he's so busy, I am dealing directly with a lot of the people that typically should be going through different channels rather than come straight to my desk. Everything's a crazy deadline nowadays.

2) The weather needs to pull a 180º so that I can bust out my bike or skates or go running outdoors again. I'm getting blubber buttish. No offense to any blubberbuttish people that might read this, but it's KILLIN me. One of the things I DISLIKE about my job- Try keeping in shape when you sit in front of a monitor 45 hours a week.

3) My car hesitated before starting this morning. Shit. It's a Honda. Don't these things run without oil for 100,000 miles before going bad? Grrr...too many friends are telling me their cars are getting expensice repairs. I'm not big on the rule of 3 and 7, but I won't discount it either.

OK...later for now.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

This Week in Review




Meh. I'm beat, people. What a time I've been having the last six or seven days since you've last read a post on here. Work-Crazy. Dating-Crazier. Sterno-Fucking INSANE.

I'm glad that I had an opportunity to chill a bit this weekend. Shoo brought his silly ass up north on a last minute decision Friday, and I had an instant accomplice. No...no howling. Some caffeine-induced frenzies, but mostly just a relaxed weekend with some intermittent goofiness.

Hey Shoo-You dig these velcro shoes? Well shit man, I dig your style. As does the Japanese fella that you just ripped on indirectly.

I was able to get a few good workouts in as well, and I'm back on track to losing the flubber that has crept up on me the last few months. Disgusting, man. I will not allow myself to slide (again).

The last few girls I've been on coffee dates or whatnot with:

1) Man hater. Bitter about being 34, having to go clubbing with friends 10 years younger, and mocks their stupidity towards men. She was a one-date-winner. She was also Lot's wife. A complete pillar of salt. Seriously-her skin cracked whenever she forced a smile. Stone faced momma. Ugh. Get some new batteries and lighten up.

2) 4'11" fast talker. I sat in front of this woman for 2 and a half hours staring at her mouth, just trying to figure out when she comes up for air (and when I might be able to interject). I passed on her offer to grab dinner. I was afraid of the food that would come flying from her fast moving lips as she attempted to make dialogue and masticate at the same time. I decided to tell her my views on religion in order to end the date early. It worked. Haven't heard from her since.

3) Cute girl with shitty cell phone service provider. I sent the gal an email asking where she's been the last few days...no returned phone calls, and no word. Turns out I wasn't picking up my phone (according to her) when she was calling, and she gave up. She's pissed at me, and oh, by the way-She had the wrong area code written down. Somebody in Wichita, Kansas is wondering who the hell has been filling their voicemail with crazy.

All I can tell you is that these experiences are pretty much getting transcribed straight into the comic strip. Seriously. My married friends hear my stories and tell me how glad they are to be out of the singles scene. Well...it's not ALL bad, but occasionally I'm reminded of why there's a very GOOD reason for taking first dates to dimly lit restaurants.You met in a bar? After how many beers? And then you want to meet this person in good lighting? Think again.


That kind of reasoning will leave you huddled under your comforter saying "I see dead people".

Oh, and the Big Ten is a motherfucking big BUST in the NCAA basketball tournament this year. Billy Packer is so happy that he's been blowing Dickie V all afternoon.

Dee Brown, James Augustine- Good luck in the bigs, guys. Thanks for helping Illini Nation rediscover their school pride.

I'm out. Sorry if the language is a little blue tonight. Love your monkey. I'm out.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Is everyone OK?

Disaster strikes
Severe storm sweeps across city; one missing


By STATE JOURNAL-REGISTER STAFF

Published Monday, March 13, 2006

One Springfield resident was missing early today after a vicious storm hit central Illinois on Sunday night.

Authorities were too busy late Sunday coping with the aftermath of the storm to offer any official estimates of damage, but it already was clear that the total will mount into the millions of dollars.

The missing man's home near Seventh and Oak streets was demolished by the storm. What remained of the home was blown onto the garage, and emergency officials had been unable to find the man as of midnight.

Areas across Springfield's south side, especially Jerome, the Parkway Pointe commercial strip, and parts of southeast Springfield from midtown to Dirksen Parkway were thrown into chaos by the storm, which struck western Sangamon County shortly before 8 p.m.

The storm then moved through southern Springfield and northeast out of Sangamon County into Logan County. Loami, New Berlin, Curran and Riverton also suffered significant damage, according to early reports.

The National Weather Service said late Sunday that two more potentially severe storms appeared headed for the Springfield area before daybreak today. A tornado watch was to be in effect until at least 4 a.m.

Power lines were down throughout Springfield. Most of the city and much of the rest of central Illinois were in the dark late Sunday, a situation that apparently will last well into today.

Gas lines were broken, trees were uprooted, and business signs were destroyed. Major damage was reported to many buildings, including businesses in Parkway Pointe and along Wabash Avenue and South MacArthur Boulevard. Many streets were impassable because of downed trees and debris.

Jessi Ford, 18, an employee of Gordmans, 3231 S. Veterans Parkway, said about 30 people were in that store about 8 p.m. when the storm struck, apparently tearing off much of the store's roof.

"I heard a big crash, and it got all windy," she said. "Everybody was calm. Some people were praying."

At the Parkway Pointe Wal-Mart, one Springfield police officer said the area looked like a war zone. Debris was strewn through the parking lot, including what appeared to be roofing material. The wind was so strong in that area that some parked cars reportedly were moved by the gusts.

At the nearby Lindbergh Boulevard Huck's gas station, two pumps were overturned during the storm, and a gasoline smell permeated the area.

"The wind was really horrible," said employee Shelia Lowe. "Part of our roof is over at Applebees.

"We didn't hear nothing. It just hit us all at once. The rain was pouring down. We all went into the office and shut the door. Three police officers got blown off the road and came in there."

In some neighborhoods, the storm was almost capricious. The Brahler's Lube Center at 252 S. Dirksen Parkway was all but demolished - only the waiting room area appeared intact late Sunday - but on either side a Tuffy's Muffler and a strip shopping center suffered only minor damage.

As of 12:15 a.m., the National Weather Service had received reports of 19 injuries in Springfield, with searches under way for occupants in some severely damaged homes.

One Springfield family thought a 16-year-old boy was trapped inside a house at 2279 E. Ash St. that was smashed by a fallen tree, but when they got there, the boy was gone and missing.

Springfield firefighters searched the house and found no one.

John Jones said his nephew, Richard Dickerson, made several phone calls from the house after the storm hit, saying that the roof was gone and that he was trapped in a bathroom.

"He was able to free himself somehow. We didn't know for sure whether he was in there or not. Evidently he came through the window. Thank God he made it out. Now I've got to go find out where he might be," Jones said.

Radio stations reported minor looting at some stores, but police said they could not confirm that as of early today. In some cases, what was thought to be looting apparently were business owners trying to salvage equipment from buildings where the wind had left exposed interiors.

Authorities broadcast several appeals for would-be gawkers to stay home.

The American Red Cross set up an emergency shelter at Lanphier High School late Sunday.

A rumor that an F-16 jet had crashed at Abraham Lincoln Capital Airport was "100 percent false," an airport security officer said.

In Jerome, observers reported that virtually no side streets were passable. People were walking around their neighborhoods checking on friends and acquaintances, they said.

Windows were shattered and signs blown down at businesses up and down MacArthur Boulevard from about Wabash to Highland avenues, setting off burglar alarms that only accentuated the confusion caused by the storm.

Kirk Huettl, a meteorologist with the National Weather Service, said the storm cell started in Scott County and then moved eastward though southern Morgan county to Sangamon County.

Huettl said there was a confirmed tornado touchdown on Loami Road, about one mile north of Loami, about 8:10 p.m. and another confirmed tornado north of Buffalo on Cornland Road about 8:48 p.m. A tornado was reported in Latham in Logan County about 9:10 p.m.

Huettl said the National Weather Service would investigate today to determine if the damage in Springfield was caused by tornadoes or straight-line winds.

Illinois State Police Lt. Rebecca Long said troopers were responding to damage on Interstate 72 from Morgan to Sangamon counties and east towards Riverton. State police had reports of a few semis overturned and power lines down in those areas, she said.

City Water, Light and Power spokesman Ray Serati said the storm caused a power failure at the CWLP plant itself about 8:30 p.m., resulting in a power outage throughout the city.

Late Sunday, Serati said CWLP crews were working to restore power at the Dallman power plant and hoping to feed power from there to the Lakeside plant.

"We're working as fast as possible. There are pockets of power, about a couple thousand people have power, because of tie-ins with neighboring utilities," he said.

Sangamon County Chief Deputy Sheriff Tony Sacco said his office had received no reports of looting. Deputies set up a command post on Wabash Avenue, shutting it down from Veteran's Parkway and the Stanford overhead, due to large amounts of damage to businesses and downed power lines.

All of the railroads traveling through Sangamon County also were shut down during the storm.

Outside Springfield, moderate to serious damage was scattered across southeastern Logan County from Mount Pulaski to Latham. Two farm homes near Latham were destroyed, as were many farm outbuildings.

One farm family about 5 miles southeast of Mount Pulaski had to be rescued from their basement after their home was destroyed, according to Latham Fire Chief Kenny Crosier.

"They were pinned down in the basement when a tornado - well, that hasn't been confirmed yet, but it might have been a tornado - took out two or three homes there," he said.

Much of Logan County also was without power. Again, however, no injuries were reported, "thankfully," said Dan Fulscher, director of the Logan County Emergency Management Agency.

Staff writers Doug Finke, Kelsea Gurski, Lisa Kernek, Mike Kienzler, Paul Povse, Amanda Reavy, John Reynolds, Gary Schieffer and Chris Wetterich and photographer Justin Fowler contributed to this story.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

I'm sick again, and I feel like dirt



I just heard from a friend (at the agency in Springfield that I was freelancing with) that the First Amendment site I helped design and illustrate won an award at the Illinois Addys event last night. Congrats to HIP advertising, and whoohoo on the new item I can list on my awards section of the resume. Suhhhweet.

OH...
As you can tell, Ed has traveled to China to check out the Great Wall. Congrats to him for being so goddamned worldly. You go Ed. You fucking GO.

Time for a nap. St. Pat's today at the Abbey pub downtown, and all I could muster up enough balls to do was drink two guinnesses and a harp. Someone please help me find my blue bottle of health elixir (Zelda? Anyone? Anyone? I'm a dork).


And that's the news for today.
Go fuck yourself, San Diego.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Weekend Recap

Ahhh...holy shit mang. Wotta weekend.

I will just be vague and tell you that my weekend, for lack of a better vocabulary, was completely dogs-in-the-bathtub nuts.

I didn't get drunk, but I drank.

I didn't hook up, but I had a few opportunities to.

I didn't make a jackass out of myself, but I felt like one a few times.

I saw the new macbook pro at the apple store, yet one of my geek pals has convinced me to wait another 6 months for the big buy.

I drank copious amounts of Monster energy drink, and it makes my right eye twitchy. I swear to God.

I practiced so much self restraint and control that I'm beginning to wonder which of my parents I resemble MOST now.

I had a dream about my grandparents last night...basically one of those flashbacks where you think about all of the great things you remember about passed loved ones. I miss them a lot.

Oh, and by the way-Ed has promised me that he's gonna send me another pic soon, so keep yer pants on. I'll post it asap.

BTW- New David Gilmour cd is sweet, for any Floyd fans out there that give a flyin' footjob. Pea Sowt.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Where's Ed? Part III.

Ed was invited to a beach party in Jamaica tonight. Lucky bastard.

He had a great time up to the point at which he realized they thought that he was the actor from the movie Powder, and was hounded so mercilessly for autographs that he ended up leaving with Cinderella in tow.

Where's Ed? Part II-That San Francisco Treat

He just emailed me with a new pic. Apparently, Ed and "Cinderella" have made it into the Bay area.

Just passing along the goodness-

Where's Ed? Part ONE.

Ohhhh, poor Ed. Great guy, fellow comic geek, and bartender extraordinaire.

He gets around people. I've been entrusted to keep everyone posted and up-to-date on his worldly travels, and this week, he's out in Wyoming, apparently.



No word as of yet if that dog's named Tinkerbell, too.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Midweek update, and a kick in the ass to boot

You know, you can go about work a few different ways. You can jack around all day, figure out ways to kill 8 hours doing everything OTHER than work on whatever it is you're supposed to be doing, and in general, be a complete hump. On the flip side, you can crank out your work, take some pride in it, and when you're finished with whatever it was you were jamming on, you can relax a little bit and destress. I think that everyone probably goes through both ends of this at one time or another, and those of you that have can probably empathize with me when I say that at the end of the day, you feel BETTER knowing that your coworkers acknowledge your contributions...as opposed to going home and wondering if everyone is whispering about how little you do, and how much of a HUMP you are.

I feel good about myself. I think that I'm working my tail off, getting acknowledged, and yes, I even goof off a bit in between jobs to lighten the day a bit. No detention slips yet. No visits from HR. Kudos, as far as I know.

I know there are humps in the office, but until their effortless, pathetic work ethic brings ME down, then I let it slide. Hasn't affected me yet. Then again, something they drill into every hockey player's head at an early age comes to mind here: Keep your head up at all times, or else you're going to get blindsided.

I had an impulse buy tonight while shopping for a new belt (my last cheapie belt self-destructed this morning) when I stumbled across an iHome alarm clock/ipod thing. I've got it set up, it sounds decent, and it's just $75 out of the laptop fund. Shit.

I need to win the powerball jackpot.

I would need to buy a ticket to do that.

I never buy lottery tickets.

I doubt I'll win that fucker.

Roommmate is experiencing man drama this week. I decided to be a great roomie and I'm leaving my door shut. Sorry- I got pissed at the new guy when I walked in last week to find him, his cousin, and his 3 year old son drinking my Harp. Well, not the 3 year old.

If it was Fat Tire, I would have gone postal. Add that to the short list of things that can provoke me into psycho-glove droppin-postal boy.

Ahhh, and as for Fat Tire...my precioussss...these backwater dipshits in the suburbian hick fuck I live in are two months behind the city. I have TWO months to wait before I can go down the street and buy that nectar of the gods.

Another random note-

Somebody told me yesterday that I looked tired, and my eyes were looking dark.

Here's a little tidbit for anybody reading this that actually DOES say this to people you work with: Keep it to yourself, you shithead. You think it's a complete mystery to myself as to why I'm dragging in the morning? Holy crap!! THAT'S why my eyes keeep closing involuntarily!!

Ya friggin twit. Yes. I'm beat. I've been staying up late working on my own work, and then I have people like you asking me to do work that you KNOW how to do, but you just felt like practicing your delegating ability yesterday at 4:40.

This is usually where I daydream about punching somebody hard in the jimmy.

I have anger issues tonight. I think I'll sign out, grab the last Harp...FffFFFFFOCK!!!!,,,and chill.

Late.