You'll be watching this one twice.

Accord vs Tahoe (Tahoe won)

Aw hell. What is going on this weekend? I swear, did I do something to anger karma? Did I piss off the big guy upstairs?

I'm cruising around this afternoon, taking care of a few errands before my friends come over for dinner, and I decide to grab a quick lunch to appease the rumble in my stomach. I spot a McD's, a NEW McD's, and I go for it. Order my meal, follow the speaker's command to pull up to window number one, and-

EEEEERRRRRUNNNK

Fuck. There went my bumper. Thanks a lot, SUV soccer mom.

You be the judge. I'm not blaming the soccer mom. I'm blaming McD's for their horrible design of the drive through. No yield signs, no warnings to let you know that you have to merge with a second lane to get your grease.

The manager told us that the store policy is that the first car to place their order goes first up to the pick up window.

Which makes sense, because you can't see or pay too much attention to the opposite lane.

I'm dead serious. Neither lane can see the other until the merging point.

Here is the view from the outside lane:

Here's another vantage point. Note where you merge. Great layout.


Annnd, my car. Looks nice, right? It took on a tahoe, and the tahoe won. Big time. My honda's a sissy.


I can't wait to hear how much this is going to cost me. Civil suit against the corporate arches? Any advice?

UPDATE: My insurance is comprehensive and liability. This is getting paid for out of my own pocket now. Ahhhh... nice.

Oral Surgery

Fork man. Ow.

Today is my day off, and I decided to spend it accordingly. By going to see a surgeon and having this weird thing on my lip cut out of my face. It developed about two and a half years ago when I accidentally bit my lip really hard, and the scar tissue developed into some funky ass thing that would get in my way when I ate, puckered my lips, smiled, skated with a mouthguard, etc.

Most of the time, people never even notice it unless I point it out, but then, it was still an awkward issue for me. I mean, dude, it's a funky thing on my LIP. Ugh.

So I set up an appointment, saw the doctor, and when he asked how I felt about him performing the surgery right after his consultation (some people prefer leaving and coming back, I suppose?), I told him I would be disappointed if he didn't slice and dice on me then and there.

Good stuff. I could watch the procedure via the reflection in the light hanging above my face, and it was really interesting to watch myself getting cut into and not feel a damned thing. Well, the anaesthesia's worn off, and it's feeling real nice now.

I'm calling off the BBQ I had planned for tonight. Pudding cups, cereal, and a milkshake sounds a hell of a lot better.

Before- Look at that right side. UGH




After- Ahhhh, If you wondered what Frankenstein's monster's inner lip looked like..


Peace.

August Already??

Life went and got dramatic there for a while folks. I'm back, I'm updating, but as you might have noticed, there's a trend where I post about once a month. For those of you who were dying for the latest and greatest, I apologize. I took off my self-immersion nerd cap for a while to spend some time with my family.

Work has been a nice diversion from real life, if that makes any sense. I have been running a ton, but my ankle has been acting up since my last run almost a week and a half ago, and I'm slowly feeling my waist expand with every Skinny Dip that I drink. God, I hate New Belgium for selling this liquid crack. And yet, I love them. ~sip~ Dating has been a train wreck. I'm debating whether or not to go and adopt six cats and decorate my condo with country charm. Maybe I can dress up my cats in this hello kitty crap I saw online the other day.

I've been asked to resign my post in one of the fantasy football leagues that I played in last year. I think that you have to be a pretty horrible "owner" to have this happen, since about the only responsibility you have with this sort of thing is to make sure that you've entered a starting lineup before the games start on Sunday. I guess they frowned upon my hands-off strategy. Especially when my team still managed to pull as many wins out of its ass as it did. I'm in a new league this season. I think it was more due to the pressure I received from my friends to join than anything else. It's an expensive buy in, and they see me as a complete mark. No pun intended. I see it as an opportunity to talk smack and ...well, talk some more smack. Screw it. When you have a team logo as kickass as mine, you just know it's going to be an interesting ride.

Link to the logo- not very work safe, FYI.

All class. Unlike some of my readers' blogs, mine isn't necessarily family friendly.

Anyway... Peace, I'm out.